Chrono Crossover Valentines Day Special
by nuclearfusion
Summary: Cloud wants to buy Tifa and Mia presents. So he becomes a bounty hunter. And Mia wants to buy a wedding dress, so she robs a bank. R&R!!!


Chrono Crossover Valentines Day Special 

By nuclearfusion2000@yahoo.com

Part 1

Foreword: Yes, I always have a foreword. If you have a problem with that, I don't care. I've finally gotten into the mood of more fanfiction writing. So blargh to you too.

The story… February 13, 2159   9:42:14  Cloud's House 

Cloud sat impatiently in his LazeeDude chair. Valentines' Day was coming up. And he was broke. He needed to at least have enough to buy Mia a diamond necklace and Tifa a trashcan lid. After all, Mia came first.

Cloud broke out of his "deep" thought, and realized that he hadn't seen Mia since that whole pants ordeal with Magus. Walking to the refrigerator, he opens it and pulls out that good ol' magical eggnog. Of course, by now, it's quite fermented, but that's never stopped Cloud before.

Cloud takes a big swig of the eggnog. "Whoa!" He exclaims. "Two years of refrigeration only makes it better!" The world around Cloud gets fuzzy and swirly, and when it stops, he's in Magus' bed.

"Nice of you to drop in Cloud."

Cloud looks to his right to see Magus laying there looking quite pleased. "GAH!" Screams Cloud. "Get away, you gaywad!"

Magus sits up. "Well excuse me. I just thought you'd seen the brighter side of things."

Cloud scrambled out of the bed. "You mean the darker dark dark darkity side of things." Cloud then proceeds to turn around as Magus puts on some clothing.

"So," Magus asks. "What're you here for?"

"Valentines Day," Cloud says. "It's all about the gifts, man. I need to get some money. So I figured I'd come over here and be a bounty hunter for a little bit. Gain some cash. All so I can get Mia and Tifa presents."

"Hmmm," Magus hmmms. "A bounty hunter. What are you getting Mia?" Cloud answers, "A diamond necklace." And Magus asks, "And Tifa?" And so Cloud answers, "A trash can lid."

"What?" says Magus. "A whole trash can lid? All for her? Wow, you're going all out with Tifa."

Cloud just sighs.

February 13, 2159   9:47:31   Mia's Hizouse 

Meanwhile (that word!) at Mia's house, Mia is discussing a little crisis with Jessica and Luna.

"I can't believe I'm out of cash!" Mia exclaims. "All because of that stripper…"

Jessie purrs. "That stripper was money well spent."

"I know, but I need some more money." Mia sighs. "It's Valentines Day, and I just know that today will be the day Cloud proposes to me. So I need a nice dress!"

"But," Luna adds, "he hasn't even said he was coming by today. And besides, you've only seen each other once. And for only a few minutes."

"SHUTTUP!" Mia screams. "I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!"

"Hey, be quiet over there," the next-door neighbor says through the wall, "I'm trying to watch TV. By the way, could you turn it to channel 27?"

Jessie walks over and changes the TV channel. "There! Are you happy?"

"Much better," The neighbor says. "Thanks."

Jessie snorts. "You ass."

"Now, Jessica," Mia reprimands softly. "That wasn't nice."

Jessica just shrugs. "He's been watching our TV for the past month. It was getting annoying."

"Back to the subject, here!" Luna says. "Will Cloud come by or not?"

"Of course he will!" Mia exclaims. "I know he will."

February 13, 2159   10:22     Gunsniper Bounty Hunter Agency 

"WHAT?!" Cloud screams. "What do you mean there aren't any jobs?"

The clerk leans forward. "Listen. No one needs anyone killed, anything stolen, or anyone watched. That's what I mean. No one needs you inexperienced services."

A strange exploding sound came from behind Cloud. He turned around to find Magus with a hole in his pants. A sour smell began to fill the air.

"Whoops." Magus says sheepishly. "Sorry."

Swords and knifes began to droop, and the two Dobermans that were  growling at Magus suddenly turned upside down and died. The glass in display cases shattered, and the wood set on fire, as the shop clerk's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell to the ground and lay there, spasming. Cloud's hair also suddenly went limp.

Luckily, Cloud had a cold. "What's so bad?" He asked.

"Erm—nothing," Magus says hurredly. "Come on, let's try somewhere else."

February 13, 2159  10:27     Some Guy's Dorm Room 

Dude was bouncing a ball on a wall, while his buddy Greg was reading a comic.

"You wanna do something?" Dude asked.

"Yeah," Greg answered.

A couple of minutes passed.

"You wanna do something?" Dude asked. He bounced the ball.

"Yeah," Greg answered.

A couple of minutes passed.

"You wanna do something?" Dude asked.

"Yeah," Greg answered.

The clock whirled up a few hours as is time has passed.

Dude sighed. "We've gotta get that clock fixed."

"You wanna do something?" Dude asked, bouncing the ball again.

"Yeah," Greg answered.

February 13, 2159   10: 39    Liger Bounty Hunters Express 

"I need a job," Cloud said, leaning over onto the counter. The termite-ridden counter collapsed under his weight. Cloud collapsed to the ground.

"Ouch," Cloud says, as he picked himself up off the ground. "That smarts."

The clerk stared at him. "I think we have just the job for you."

"Really?!" Cloud exclaimed. "That's great!"

The clerk motioned toward the back door, "Right this way."

February 13, 2159   10:20   Streets 

Mia, Jessica, and Luna were walking to the dress store. On the way, they'd have to stop at the bank, to "borrow" some money.

"This is the best idea I've ever had!" Mia says excitedly. "I can't believe I thought of it!"

Jessie shifted over to whisper in Luna's ear. "That's because it was my idea." Luna snickered.

"Hey, what's that?" Mia says, motioning off into a nearby alley. "I thought I saw something moving."

The three girls go to check it out, and as they get closer, they begin to see a light blue glow. They get into an attack formation, and in almost parade-ground unison, jump out and tackle the enemy. The enemy who just happened to be sitting in front of a laptop.

"|-|3y j00!" The enemy shouted. "\/\/|-|47 d0 j00 7|-|1|\|k j00'r3 d01|\|6?"

"Wha?!" Jessie exclaimed, jumping back a few steps. "What the junk are you?"

"I R A 1337 haXX0r!" He says. "I c4|\| k1cK j00r bu77!" 

Luna smacked him in the head. " S|-|U77U[]D j00!"

Everyone looks at Luna. "What?" She says. "I just picked some of it up on the internet."

It was at that very moment that the haxx0r decided he was scared, and ran for his life, leaving his laptop behind. Mia eyed it suspiciously, a look of realization sweeping across her face.

"Hey, now," Mia says. "We can use this laptop to hack into the bank and transfer some money into my account!"

Jessie choked. "That's stupider than breaking into the bank!"

Mia smiled slowly. "That's the point. They won't expect it.

She turned to the powered laptop. "Well, let's get crackin'."

February 13, 2159  10:50  Position Alpha 

Cloud shifted in his chair, his gun falling down to his lap. He was getting bored; his job wasn't all it cracked up to be. He looked at his client, the one he was protecting. The client looked back at him. The client's nose tremored, and the client showed his two large teeth. His ears flopped over, then, he took a bite of a carrot.

Cloud sighed. Mr. Cottontail may be paying well, but it wasn't a fun job. Cloud looked over at Mr. Cottontail, who was crunching away loudly on the carrot. Mr. Cottontail got bored eating, and then went over to his water bottle, which rattled as he drunk.

"Well, this just sucks," Cloud says, his first words since he started. "This isn't quite what I had in mind."

It was at that moment that Cloud decided he had to take a piss. So he got up, and walked to the bathroom. After what sounded like a tidal wave from outside, Cloud emerged from the bathroom.

"Oh, &*%#!!"  Cloud said. And he was right. Where Mr. Cottontail had once been, the cage was now open, the rabbit gone, and the door swinging idly.

To Be Continued… 

Next time…

            Find out about the bank heist, Mr. Cottontail, AND, whether Dude and Greg decided to do anything.


End file.
